


Another Love

by FrenchWriter



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-06 11:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6752035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchWriter/pseuds/FrenchWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina had been holding her pain back her whole life, never letting anything but rage slip through.<br/>But this, Marian coming back, was the last straw. After a heated interaction outside of Granny's, Regina lets out all her pain for Emma to see, wanting the world to burn down with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a three part one shot!  
> I hope you will like it!  
> It's meant to be angsty, so let's hope I can do that!

Regina couldn't believe what had happened. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her mind was jumping from thought to thought without ever stopping on one. How ? How had this happened ? How could she be suffering again, after all her efforts, after her white magic, after her sacrifices.

She was getting out of Granny's, viciously slamming the door behind her ; the bell almost fell off. She was moving but couldn't truly see what was around her. She got down the stairs because her body knew they were there. She was quickly walking down the path to the streets but stopped, her hands on her temples as she was trying hard to focus on something, anything, to stop the madness that was beginning to rise and take over her mind.

And then she heard it. Her voice.

"Regina ….." And suddenly everything in her mind, everything in her heart, all the darkness inside turned and focused on her. Her anchor. Her focus. Emma Swan. The woman who broke her once again when she had been healing. The woman for whom her love she had learnt to forget, finding solace with him. Her solace was gone. With his wife. Because of her. Emma Swan. The savior. The good doer. The fucking Sheriff.

"Not now Swan …" Her back was still to Emma. _Not now. Not now or I could kill you before thinking better of it. Not now when the darkness in me could rip you to shreds on this very pavement. Not now._

"I'm sorry … When I brought Marian back I didn't know who she was, I didn't intend to cause you pain …" This was too much for Regina who had listened without moving, staring at the void in front of her, inside of her.

"Well …. Your intentions really don't matter." To speak. She needed to speak not to let her magic explode. She needed control. "Because once again I felt the brunt of heroism. Always the villain, even when I'm not." She said with a defeated disdain. Why ? Why would she keep trying when it didn't matter, she just kept hurting and hurting until she was on her knees. She wouldn't be, she couldn't be. She was a Queen. A Queen never kneels, not to anyone and not to pain.

"What was I supposed to do ?"

"Well you were dumb enough to travel through time, maybe you should have left things well enough alone !" She said with a rising anger.

"I am not gonna apologize for saving someone's life."

"She was to die anyway, why did it matter?!"

"What matters is she was a person. And …. whatever she did, she didn't deserve to die." Who did this woman think she was ?! Who was she to know who deserve and didn't deserve to die ?!

"Well maybe she did !!!!" It was hard enough controlling her anger but now she was just taunting her, wasn't she ?!

"Well you would know, I saved her from you." Oh that cutting reproachful voice. As if she should be ashamed to have been who she was. She wouldn't have survived if not for the Evil Queen, who was Swan to judge ?! She didn't know ! She didn't know anything of what she had to endure ! And here she stood, spewing her judgement left and right, as if she was higher, purer than she could be ?!

She had to breathe deeply as she looked straight into green eyes. Deeply so she wouldn't act to see the life die inside of them. And the pain eating her inside was almost choking the words in her throat. « The woman who did that …. That was the person I was, not the person I am. I worked very hard to build a future … a future that's now gone. »

"You don't know that." Really ? Really Ms Swan ? Did she want her to prove how easy it could be for a future to dissolve ?! That stupid girl was way too naive, just like her idiotic parents !

"Well I know that it's complicated enough that his dead wife is back !"

"Regina … for that I am sorry ... If there is anything I can do to help..."

"Miss Swan …." She couldn't help a cold mocking laugh. "The more you try to help, the worse my life becomes."

She needed to leave. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't break in front of anyone. She alone had been the only witness to how broken she could be, to how rotten she could feel as darkness was eating her up. But she couldn't leave, because once more the door opened.

"Marian … please …." Robin ….. Why did he have to make this harder for her ?! Why did everyone have to make this harder ?! Couldn't they just let her be ?! Couldn't they just let her alone because they all had been the ones to cause her pain, to make hope blossom in her heart to rip it away viciously as she had her victims' hearts. Every single one of them had broken her in their own way. Each and everyone deserved her hate, deserved her resentment and rage.

"Meet her, she's not at all what you think. Regina …. I want you to meet Marian. I …. I want us to talk about things." She crossed her arms in front of her, trying to shield herself from his touch on her back, trying to shield herself from more hurting cuts that would add to all her scars.

"Wait were you two ….. Are you two together ?!" Marian asked in such obvious disgust.

"Marian please."

"You and the Evil Queen ?! Did you let her near my son ?! Did you know what she's done ?! The terror that she's inflicted ?!"

And now the two idiots are joining the party.

"Is everything okay ?" Snow asked in her insufferable, too good for you, voice.

"No one's incinerated yet, so that's a good sign." Ever so charming, David ….. Regina felt anger and hate coil tighter around her heart. She could kill all of them in a matter of seconds, it wouldn't take long, they wouldn't see it coming, they would stop inflicting pain, she would stop hurting. Just a little push, just a little rise of magic and all of this, all of them would be over.

"Regina, are you alright ?" Snow asked. _But really what she meant was, are you still good ? Are you still there ? And what if I choose not to, Snow ? What if I choose to finally end you right here and there ?!_

"What is wrong with you people ?! Why are you talking to her?! Don't you know who she is ?!"

"Mom, what's going on ??" Her little prince ….. the darkness around her heart loosened. She couldn't, wouldn't hurt them. Not when she could lose him, her whole world. He had always been her whole world. The only person that wanted to believe in her. That still cared. She didn't need anyone else.

"She's a monster !!!" Marian said with so much repulsion. Regina took a step forward, hatred appearing all clear on her face as she raised her hand to end her miserable life. Her problems would be all over then. She would still have Robin, just like 15 minutes ago, before her make believe world, her make believe healing came crashing down.

But her son was there. She couldn't do this …. so she stopped as all eyes were turned on her. She would not break in front of them.

"No, she's ..." Emma again. And she didn't finish her sentence. _Because what am I, Miss Swan ?! What am I if not a monster ?! If not the Evil Queen ?!_

 

Regina turned around and started walking away without another word as unshed tears began to blur her vision.

"Regina, I-" Emma took a step forward. What did she want ?! To follow her to make sure she wouldn't kill anyone, to make sure she wouldn't cause destruction ?!

But Hook grabbed her arm to stop her. Regina was quickly walking away but Emma yanked her arm free and ran after Regina.

"Regina, wait !!!" Regina poofed but Emma had the time to grab her wrist and was engulfed in purple smoke too as they disappeared from the middle of the street.

 

They reappeared in Regina's vault and the older woman pulled her arm away from her grasp.

"You shouldn't have done this." Regina said in a cold and threatening voice, a blood-lust shining in her eyes.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am too tired to finish this tonight, so I added a third part that'll be released hopefully tomorrow!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this!

_« Regina, wait !!! » Regina poofed but Emma had the time to grab her wrist and was engulfed in purple smoke too as they disappeared from the middle of the street._

_The reappeared in Regina's vault and the older woman pulled her arm away from her grasp._

_« You shouldn't have done this. » Regina said in a cold and threatening voice, a blood lust shining in her eyes._

 

 

"Come on, Regina, please, don't close up ..."

“Don't tell me what to do, savior!!” Regina growled, letting the rage fill her up now that she was alone with someone else than her son. A fireball appeared in her hand, her eyes not moving from Emma's. It scared Emma, this darkness swirling and firing in the Mayor's eyes were frightening her as she had never been scared before.

“Regina ….” She said cautiously. “Please, stay with me, don't revert ….”

“Do you think I am some kind of mental patient?!?!” Regina exploded, shouting without restraint and Emma jumped slightly. She jumped out of the way as Regina threw a fireball at her, new one appearing in her hand.

“Regina, please, you made too many sacrifices t-”

“SACRIFICES?!” Her magic disappeared from her hand. “Sacrifices?! Don't you dare talk to me about sacrifices!!!” Her pain was firing up in her body and she felt torn apart, ripped to shreds as she had before and her whole body started trembling from pent up despair and deep anger. Her voice was just as shaky and Emma looked at her wide eyed.

“What would you know of sacrifices, Swan?! I've made sacrifices MY WHOLE LIFE!” She was breathing heavily, her chest heaving and the darkness in her eyes shifted to madness. Emma could see a thousand memories and emotions play out across her face as Regina was attacked by all she had felt her whole life. She had locked all of this up for her son. But it was all breaking out through the dam she had put around her heart and now everything was breaking free.

“Have you ever seen every single one person you loved die because of you ?! Now THAT is sacrifice!!! I lost the man I loved! He was innocent! He was a good man! And I saw my mother thrust her hand in his chest! I saw her rip out his heart and crush it to dust in fron of my very eyes! I was 18! I was 18 and I was craddling his lifeless body, still warm, still smelling like him in my arms as I was crying over his corpse!!!! I didn't sleep for weeks! Crying myself through the night!! Do you know what that is?!

I had my husband killed! Your fucking grandfather! And I sacrificed my body to him EVERY NIGHT! FOR YEARS! As he came to claim me as his against my will!!!!” Her voice was as scorched as her soul and enraged, desperate tears were running down her flushed cheeks as she kept letting everything free in front of a shocked Emma.

“I killed my own father!!!! I ripped his heart out and threw it in a fucking fire to cast the Dark Curse! Because I was so fucking sick of the pain that was clawing at me every second of every day and every second of every night!!! I thought it would make me happy!! I thought things would change!!!

And then when YOU came around and tried to steal MY son from ME! I understood I had to sacrifice my relationship with him just to live through another day!!!!! I spent nearly a year without seeing him because of you!!!!! And I could only see him once I had to die for the town!!!!!! And then I sacrificed my happiness again!!!!! To see you leave for New York with him!!!! I sacrificed my happiness for his life and yours!!!! I THOUGHT I WOULDN'T SEE HIM AGAIN!!!! And I wanted to die! Oh yes Swan, I wanted to die! I was ready to kill myself in the Enchanted Forest before Zelena came around and distracted me from my pain with anger!!!!

Can't you see it's the only way for me to survive?! Darkness!!! I sacrificed everything to live a better life and it comes biting me in the ass again!!!! And now I thought I had come past this! I thought that I could find some sort of happiness with Robin because I could never have what made me really happy but you just had to come and DESTROY that!!!!”

Emma didn't know what to say nor what to do with the woman that was obviously breaking down in front of her.

“Do you know what it is to feel this burning pain destroy my body and my mind day after day?! Do you know what it feels like to get conquered by darkness, by dark magic?!”

Regina was violently shaking and she just couldn't hold it back anymore she started sobbing violently. Emma took a step towards her.

“NOOOO!!!” Regina shouted violently, her voice scorched. Her scream tore through the air and chilled Emma to the bone. Regina collapsed on her knees, her arms around herself. She was in physical pain as much as in emotional pain and it was awfully obvious to Emma. Her eyes were enraged and evil one second, ravaged and utterly sad the next. Regina was gently rocking her own body back and forth. Her sobs weren't quieting down. “When will the pain stop?! WHEN?!” She screamed again, clawing at her own skin as if trying to take the pain away.

“I can't do this ….” Regina's voice was completely broken, her bottom lip and chin quivering as she tried to hold back her tears and sobs. Emma took a careful step forward. “I can't go through this again ...” she seemed completely defeated. She was curling up, closing her eyes and repeating like a mantra how much she couldn't do this, how she couldn't live with this.

Emma couldn't bear to see her like this, so broken. She lied down next to her.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised this sooner.  
> I'm sorry, life got int the way.  
> But here it is!  
> (I know it's short, but it was supposed to be a two part one shot at the beginning).

_“I can't do this ….” Regina's voice was completely broken, her bottom lip and chin quivering as she tried to hold back her tears and sobs. Emma took a careful step forward. “I can't go through this again ...” she seemed completely defeated. She was curling up, closing her eyes and repeating like a mantra how much she couldn't do this, how she couldn't live with this._

_Emma couldn't bear to see her like this, so broken. She lied down next to her._

 

“Regina, I will always be there, please just let me in ….” She whispered with care and tenderness.

“You won't, no one ever is there, no one ever stays.” She replied weakly through her never ending tears.

“I will. I won't die. I won't leave your side, no matter what you ever do. Because I know you, I know who you are. And what you are is the most incredible, beautiful, reisilient woman I have ever known.” She whispered softly, cautiously touching Regina's tear stained cheeks. As she didn't react, Emma slowly caressed her cheek.

“I am weak ...” the mayor whispered in a broken voice.

“You aren't weak, Regina, you are the strongest woman I know.” Emma whispered, looking into her eyes. “Strong because, no matter how broken you feel, you still fight. And I will always be here fighting besides you.”

“No you won't, you will leave, like everyone else.”

“Never.”

“Why?”

Emma didn't say anything, just kept looking into her desperate eyes, a little smile on her lips, pure and so full of love that it was blinding Regina.

“Don't …..” Regina whispered, trying to pull away. But she couldn't move, Emma having wrapped her arms around her tightly.

“What?” Emma asked softly.

“Don't love me.” She said sadly, looking away but staying in her arms. It was too warm, too gentle and felt too much like home. She was overwhelmed.

“I love you and always will Regina and I am sorry I ever hurt you.”

“Please don't, run away from me.”

“Never, I am here and always will be.”

“You shouldn't, I only bring pain and suffering. Look what happened to Daniel.”

“It won't happen to me.”

“How do you know that?! I couldn't lose you Emma, I really couldn't.”

Emma kept caressing her cheeks with the utmost tenderness and love.

“You won't.”

“Emma …..” Regina looked up into Emma's eyes and the love and hope she saw in those big expressive emerald eyes made her heart swell. “Emma I love you too..... It's always been you.” She whispered softly, her breath falling on Emma's lips because of how closely they were holding onto each other.

Emma softly pressed her lips against Regina's and slowly the mayor forgot about everything. Her mind, her heart, only filled with their kiss. They were kissing softly, tenderly, their lips moving in a perfect harmony. Soon the kiss deepened and the deeper it was, the more needy, desperate it became, the more light replaced darkness in Regina's heart, the more life invested her body again. Her pain slowly healing, her torments quieting down with every ounce of love Emma was putting in their kiss, beautifully reciprocated by Regina.

Their kiss ended a few minutes later, their happiness on the other hand, was only starting.

 

 


End file.
